Effin' Labor Day! Part One

This is not a typical blog post from me, and if you can't tell from the title, it will be full of colorful fill-in-the-blanks. I don't normally write about the rough days of parenthood aside from a comment or implication here and there. Well, guess what? Today sucked. There is no other way of saying this. Not the entire day, but the majority of it. Where do I begin? Hmmm...I guess at the beginning.

At 6am I find myself in Holden's room for the third time. This is still considered night in my current schedule and the longest window of sleep opportunity I enjoyed last night was just under three hours. Don't get me started on the lack in progress we are making with the sleep training. Every time I feel like we're making progress, I quickly am reminded that we are in fact, not.

Last night was especially hard on me because I felt like I had come down with something yesterday. My neck and shoulders ached, my head hurt, and I had a sore throat. I wanted to nap when they napped and Fletcher refused to nap. Although I put him in his room for "quiet time," you can imagine how quiet it remained in the house. So, for the latter part of Sunday, I didn't feel well at all and hoped for a night...just one simple night...of a couple solid hours of sleep. That didn't happen.

So, when I put Holden back in his crib at 6:15, I don't care that he is still awake as oftentimes it's during these moments that he can soothe himself and if he can't, I know it won't be long until he's just up with the rest of us. I crawl back into bed, hoping and praying that because Fletcher didn't nap on Sunday that he'd sleep in for me today. I don't know if he did or not, but by 7:30 I am awake, listening to him in his room and twenty minutes later, I peel myself out of bed and pop a couple of Tylenol before greeting the human jumping bean.

I have a plan for the day. Target, Michael's, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We're going shopping to get some things I keep putting off. There is no school, so this is our outing for the day.

Jump to 9am and Holden is still asleep. Well, guess what, Mister? That's long enough. I have plans for us and you kept me up half the night. Your brother won't let me rest during the day. We're going to do something I need to get done and we're going to enjoy ourselves along the way. End of story.

Everyone's up, we're all dressed, fed, and ready to go. I take a picture of Holden for his first Labor Day. I ask Fletcher to come use the potty before we leave. He has been bouncing off the walls all morning, and I mean literally across the room and off the walls and floor all morning long. It is time to get out of the house. When he comes to me, he proudly shows me his legs, where he has managed for the 236th time to lather lotion all over them. And the shorts he's in. And his shirt. %#^&@ *^#$#! Really? Again!? And the lotion is all over my bedroom floor. ^%#*! Effin' Eff!!!

What can I do? Nothing, but attack the runny mess. He gets a lecture as I clean him up in the bathroom, while tears come out of nowhere at the frustration of it all. Why???? I just don't get it. Even as I'm boiling over, I remind myself that he's two and he is proud and this really isn't a big deal. Who cares that the 237th time will be in the next 48 hours and I've gone through this lecture time and time again? He's just a kid. Calm down, stop crying, and get moving.

Using the bathroom is something else Fletcher is very proud of. (So are we!) Lately, he wants to do everything himself, so I painstakingly step aside and wait for him to get so frustrated pulling down his pants that he finally asks for help. Now, potty and LET'S. GO!

As we come back in the living room, it's obvious that Holden has creeped his way into the kitchen area and immediately it hits me that I forgot to pick up the dog's water dish. As I rush into the kitchen, I silently pray for God to forgive the words I used with the lotion incident and please, please, please...UGH! Too late...Water all over the kitchen floor! The full dish is now empty and Holden is just splashing away in his newly soaked onesie. &%*^#$! &$%#@^!

"Fletcher, stay right here. Mommy has to go get towels to clean up." I make a mad dash to the bathroom to grab some towels and say a prayer of thanks that Holden was playing in the water rather than drowning in it. I also add a few more "WHY!?!??'S" to my morning along the way.

Needless to say, when I return, Fletcher has completely ignored what I said and is now stomping in the middle of the water...in his socks. $%#! I take his socks off, dry his feet and move him aside before drying the rest of the water, laying Holden on the towels to remove his sopping wet onesie and dry him off. All while directing the dog to stay out of the way and somehow managing to keep myself dry. Again, tears are just flowing. WHY!?! I mean, really...why???

As I'm losing it, Fletcher runs to Holden's room to get new clothes without any prompting from me and brings back one pair of red shorts. Melt my heart; that is so sweet. Unfortunately, that obviously won't work for clothes. But still...what a caring boy. I'm completely effed up in how I'm handling these mishaps and here is my two-year-old, thinking one step ahead. Into Holden's room we go for a wardrobe change. I try to simply catch my breath and calm down. Again.

After the typical commotion involved with getting out the door, I shut the garage and pull out of the driveway thinking of how long it took us to get going and then glance at the clock. 9:45am. Are you kidding? All of that and more happened in just 45 minutes?

Well, we're on our way now. Aside from the tantrum thrown because Fletcher can't have his milk right away, we arrive at Michael's about 25 minutes later without a problem. He does a great job in the store as I select 12 sheets of scrapbook paper for our disply frame at home. Back in the car we go. Things seem to be moving along. Although since this is a complaining post, let me say...I hate trips to the store for just one or two things, when it takes me longer to unload and load the kids than it does for me to get what I need. Anyway, one place down, only a few more places to hit.

Off to Target we go!

To be continued...