Sleepy and Grumpy

If we were two of the seven dwarfs right now, we'd be Sleepy and Grumpy. The two go hand in hand most times, correct? Especially when it comes to toddlers and tired, pregnant mothers.

Let me preface this post by saying that before we left for Texas and Arizona, I would be in Fletcher's room for no more than 30 seconds to say a prayer, give a hug and get a kiss. He would barely let me get my words out or go through the motions, as he'd point to his crib and try to push off of me to lay in it. I'd put him down and walk out and he'd take care of the rest on his own. This would happen before nap time, which was anywhere between 1 1/2 - 3 hours long and again before bedtime, where he'd sleep from 7:30/8pm until 7/7:30am.

On vacation, putting him down for naps was a drawn out process, but bedtime went pretty smoothly, although still requiring extra time compared to our home routine. He got sick just before we came home and that night and the ones following, he needed more time before bed as well and was very clingy.

Since being home, it's taken a bit longer in the room before putting him down and leaving. But within minutes his crying would settle and he'd be asleep for the night.

We've had a twin bed with a rail, on a box spring in the other bedroom set up for awhile. He has spent plenty of time in that room while we've set it all up for him and moved half of his toys in there. He's familiar with it and knows when we're referring to it. The day Jesse left, I decided to give it a go for nap time and then later for bedtime. I'm writing this four days later...four long days later.

Day 1 Nap 1: He fell asleep in the car on our way home from the airport, which then set him off for the remainder of the day. So, he normally naps from 12:30/1 - 3:30/4. Given the fact that he had a 30 minute cat nap in the car, I didn't try putting him down until 2pm. No luck. 2:45-3:15 we had a complete battle, both physically and mentally. He's a strong little kid to wrestle. Around 3:15 he finally settled and by 3:30 I felt like I could transfer him to his crib. So, you guessed it...nap time started when it's normally wrapping up. I had to go in and wake him up at 5pm.

Day 1 Night 1: I pushed back the time a bit and tried to begin our routine around 8:20. I sang The Twelve Days of Christmas three times and The Ants Go Marching twice before transferring him to the twin and then sang it a third time while standing next to the bed. Before I left the room and by 8:50, he was up and around the room again. I sat with him on the bed, singing, rocking, swaying, straining my lower back. I put him down and just sat there. He turned his music machine on and off and by 9:15pm, he was out of bed and ran around the house. I decided to take a pit stop and let the dog out during this break. An hour into it all, I took him in there, kept it short and sweet, put him in the bed and walked out. Within 10 minutes he was quiet. I went in at 10:45 to see if he made it back to his bed. He was in the twin and I don't think he ever got down to start with. I didn't hear him until 7:20am the next morning with a pitter-patter of little feet down the hallway and then knocking on our door.

I would say Day 1 Nap 1 and Day 1 Night 1 were somewhat successful. Could it really be that easy? (Even though it didn't feel easy at all when it happened, my mission was accomplished.) Umm...no, it couldn't. At least not for him and not for me.

Day 2 Nap 2: It took about 15 minutes to put him down. An hour and half later, he was next to my bed waking me up.

Day 2 Night 2: 7:50 into the room for a normal routine. I walked out at 7:58 and by 8 it was quiet. When I checked at 8:30, he was in his bed.

Still sounding not bad, right?

12:36am: He cried and got up and came out of the room to our room. I took him back to his room, sang and held him for 10 minutes and put him down. He crawled out and came out within seconds. Repeat, repeat, repeat. By 1am I was in bed with him and was there for over an hour. When I got up, he got up. I repeatedly put him back to bed. Back and forth we went. At 2:30am, I was back in the chair with him, singing and rocking. After trying repeatedly again to get him to stay in his bed, he was in my bed with me at 3:15am. At some point we both fell asleep. I wanted him to wake up in the twin, so I attempted to transfer him at 5:30, which failed. After falling back asleep in our bed he woke me up at 7:45.

All night I was second guessing myself. Should I be singing? Should I lay with him in the twin? Should I lock the door to his room? Should I have started all this before he could open doors? Should I just put him back in the crib? Should I be letting him lay in our bed? How could it all unravel so quickly?

Day 3 Nap 3: We were both exhausted and grouchy. I tried to put him down at 12 noon, which was too early. I tried again at 1pm, but he only played in the room while I layed on the bed. 40 minutes into that, he pooped, so we had to change his diaper. After that, I thought for sure he'd lay down. Well, he played and ran away from me. I decided to put him down and lock the door. I stood outside for 3 minutes before opening the door. After that, he sat with me where as before locking it, he just wanted to play. He fell asleep on me in 10 minutes. By 2:15 he was asleep in the bed and I got out of there. I woke him up at 4:15.

Day 3 Night 3: 7:45-8pm: I sang and held him. I put him in the bed and walked out. We went round and round with him crawling out and coming out of the room and me scooping him back up and laying him down. Over and over and over. Then I held him and sang in the chair and he was asleep on me by 8:30. I went to bed at 9:10. He woke up and was in our room at 10:20. By 10:55, I had him back down and I was back in bed. 15 minutes later, he was up and in our room to get me again. I got in his bed, where he just continued to play and talk and fight sleep. At midnight, I gave up. I moved everything back into his other room with the crib and put him down. He screamed and cried for 10 minutes and then was out until 7:30 this morning.

Day 4 Nap 4: I didn't even try the twin bed. I took him in his room and read him a story on the chair and he fell asleep in my lap just after 12 noon. He slept for 2 hours and 40 minutes without a peep.

I feel like a failure in a lot of ways. I didn't want to flip flop between the twin and the crib. Maybe I should have just started with naps? I didn't want to give up. I don't even know if his old bed is what he wanted or if he just wanted me in the new room with him. I tried doing this when Jesse was gone because I didn't think he had the patience for it and I was already second-guessing myself so much that I didn't want to have someone else questioning it along the way too. But here I don't have the patience I guess.

I tried routine, I tried non-verbal, I tried tough love, I tried locking the door, I tried bringing him in our bed, I tried getting into his bed, I moved everything that was his from the one room to the other. The problem, of course is getting him to stay in that room and in that bed without getting up and coming out to get me. I can deal with the bedtime routine changing for awhile if I need to.

I wanted to have him in the twin before the new baby came. I wanted to go through this change while I'd be losing sleep and time with just one child and not two. I plan on having Baby #2 in our room in the bassinet until he's 3 months old, so technically Fletcher doesn't have to be out of the crib until almost June, but should I wait until then? Should I try to make the switch before the due date again?

I just don't know what to do! He's been wonderful with every transition we have tried before this. Was the new bed, the new room, Dad's departure, and new teeth too much all at the same time? For now, I've decided to wait and try in January, after the holidays and Jesse's dad's surgery (most likely 3 separate road trips involved) and see what happens next time.

Any advice when it gets here?